A Marsiling mart owner has pioneered a revolutionary new business model by charging customers for the privilege of not carrying heavy copper coins.

The shop boss claims the 50-cent “digital touching fee” is essential because selling lung-charring tubes is now less profitable than selling actual air.

While banks insist transactions should be free, the boss argues that the electrical current used to process a PayNow transfer is a premium luxury utility.

“The profit only fifteen cents leh, my margin thinner than my hair already,” the boss explained, weeping into a stack of Marlboros.

“You think QR code grow on tree? Use phone must pay lah!”

One livid customer retorted, “Siao ah! Use PayNow also want to suck blood, might as well I pay you with my liver.”