A Singaporean motorist has successfully demonstrated that the nation’s elderly population is no longer content with slow-walking in food courts, preferring to treat the TPE like a high-stakes demolition derby.

The 78-year-old driver engaged in a sophisticated "triple-collision" maneuver, bouncing off a trailer and the central divider like a confused Windows 95 screensaver.

"I thought uncle was trying to do stunt man show," said one witness. "He hit the back, then fly go right, then come back hit the truck again – solid lah, like arcade game but real life!"

Paramedics confirmed that while the car is now a scrap metal sculpture, the trailer remained largely unimpressed by the geriatric assault.

Police are investigating whether the car identifies as a boomerang.