Minister Gan Kim Yong announced that Singapore is heading to the stars, primarily because there is literally nowhere left on this godforsaken island to build another bubble tea shop.

The National Space Agency of Singapore (NSAS) will ensure that even in the infinite vacuum of space, Sinkies cannot escape the warm, suffocating embrace of government monitoring.

Insiders confirm the first "next-gen" satellite will be equipped with high-resolution thermals designed to catch uncles smoking at HDB staircases from 400 miles up.

Furthermore, a new $500,000 "Interstellar COE" will be required for any citizen wishing to float aimlessly in a vacuum without a permit.

Prospective astronauts must have a minimum 4.8 GPA and be prepared to contribute 37% of their harvested moon-rocks to their CPF Ordinary Accounts.

NASA might explore the unknown, but NSAS will focus on the truly essential: charging aliens a $4 Entry Permit for entering the Singapore Galactic Zone during peak hours.