The Ministry of Giving-No-Shits announced a mandatory 400% hike in Service & Conservancy Charges to maintain every HDB block’s signature scent of fermented urine.

Residents are reportedly ecstatic that their contributions will now fund the strategic placement of even more passive-aggressive notices in lift lobbies.

"Wah lau, pay so much but lift still shake like vibrating toy, then corridor lights keep blinking like disco," noted resident Tan Ah Kow.

A Town Council spokesperson confirmed the extra funds would hire professional pigeon-feeders to ensure the "bird-shit aesthetic" remains consistent across the heartlands.

"S&CC increase good what, help me lose weight because lift spoil I must climb sixteen floor everyday," said a breathless auntie.

Authorities remain confident that as long as there is one rusty swing, Sinkies will continue to fork out cash with zero resistance.