The Singapore Police Force has graciously announced that driving test fees will increase progressively, ensuring your dreams of car ownership die long before you even see a COE bid.

Authorities cited "rising operating costs," which presumably refers to the immense electricity required to power the single flickering lightbulb in the Ubi theory room.

This tactical financial barrier ensures that only the truly elite can afford the luxury of being verbally abused by a sweaty instructor inside a humid circuit.

"Walao, already no money buy car, now take test also must pay more, might as well I just swim to work," complained one perpetual learner.

By 2028, the fees will be high enough to convince most people that a shared bicycle is a Ferrari.