Singapore’s elite productivity-avoidance squad has successfully colonised the Esplanade outdoor theatre, proving that doing absolutely nothing is the only thing locals can afford without a bank loan.

Hundreds of professional loafers gathered to stare blankly at the Marina Bay skyline while a local experimental jazz quartet performed to a crowd consisting mostly of mosquitoes.

The government is reportedly considering a "Stagnation Levy" to monetise the sheer lack of ambition radiating from the concrete steps.

"Eh, why pay for concert? I sit here for five hours, catch the breeze, and judge people’s outfits for free," said one resident, while picking his ear.

"Wait long-long for the fireworks, then I go home and sleep like one log lor, no need to work so hard for what?"

Authorities confirmed that as long as no one is holding a cardboard sign or protesting, the state is happy to let its citizens rot in the sun like expensive, discarded durians.