In a move signalling the relentless pursuit of academic excellence, the Ministry of Education (MOE) has officially announced that the selection process for the Gifted Education Programme (GEP) will now require candidates to demonstrate an innate ability to memorise the entire Singapore Statutes Online database by the age of eight.

"Wah lau eh, must study until can see ghost already," commented one highly stressed parent, Mrs. Tan.

Sources confirm that children who merely score top marks are now considered ‘lagging.’ A ministry spokesperson added, “We need innovators, not just toppers. If you cannot recite Section 4A of the Environmental Public Health Act backwards while simultaneously composing a sonnet in Elizabethan English, you’re clearly not ready for the rigours of being *truly* gifted.” Experts agree this rigorous selection ensures only the crème de la crème—or perhaps, the crème brûlée that’s slightly burnt on top—will proceed.