In a stunning display of corporate consistency, Sinopec and SPC have hiked diesel prices for the fourth consecutive day, ensuring no Singaporean driver feels too comfortable with their financial stability.

With Shell and Caltex already squeezing wallets harder than a kiasu auntie at a warehouse sale, diesel has officially achieved the status of a luxury liquid.

The ongoing missile exchange between Israel and Iran has provided the perfect geopolitical excuse for petrol companies to treat their pump screens like a high-score arcade game.

While petrol prices remained steady, one local delivery worker was seen sobbing into his empty fuel tank.

“Wah lau eh, every morning wake up price go up again, like my blood pressure sia,” the driver lamented.

“Next time must sell kidney just to drive to Jurong, siao liao!”