Modern Singaporean couples are officially ditching physical intimacy for the raw, carnal thrill of a shared savings account.

Experts claim that watching a partner’s salary hit the joint balance provides a dopamine hit far superior to any fumbled bedroom encounter.

"Siao ah, why waste energy on bed when can see the interest rate hit 3.8% p.a.?" said local resident, Ah Huat.

"Last time he try to be romantic I tell him go away, but now he transfer money for the utility bill? Wah, my heart go boom-boom immediately."

The Monetary Authority of Singapore is reportedly investigating if "Aggressive Savings" should be classified as a new sexual orientation.

One woman confessed that her husband’s refusal to withdraw from the account is the only form of "pulling out" she now finds attractive.