In a landmark victory for fiscal responsibility, a local couple has successfully sued a secondary school acquaintance for "market rate negligence" following their five-star banquet.

The plaintiff, Kelvin Tan, argued that the defendant’s $88 contribution constituted a "hostile financial attack" against a $280-per-head table at the Ritz-Carlton.

"I already send him the hotel price list one year ago, he still give this kind of amount, he think I doing charity work ah?" Kelvin fumed while cross-referencing his Excel spreadsheet.

High Court judges ruled that guests who fail to adjust for inflation should be legally classified as petty thieves and sentenced to permanent social exile.

Financial analyst Auntie Bee Lian noted, "Now abalone price go up, you give $100 is like you slapping the bride’s face, you think your presence is a gift is it?"

The government is reportedly considering mandatory CPF deductions for all wedding invitations to prevent further bankruptcy among newlyweds.