The Ministry of Collective Responsibility (MCR) has introduced a revolutionary new concept for condominium maintenance fees: the 'Emotional Value Surcharge' (EVS). Effective immediately, residents who express audible dissatisfaction with the monthly fee—or, worse, *question* its allocation—will be billed an additional S$500 for 'disrupting the communal Feng Shui.'

MCR spokesperson, Mr. Tan Kian Seng, explained the necessity: “We noticed some residents were looking at their statements with, shall we say, *negative vibes*. This poor energy was clearly contributing to the algae bloom in the infinity pool and the consistent malfunction of Lift B.”

One resident, who wished to remain anonymous—but definitely sounded like Uncle Goh from Block 12—was overheard muttering, “*Aiyoh, this one so expensive! Last time my whole hawker meal confirm cheaper than my monthly sinking fund contribution. Now they want charge me for being sad? Power lah, Singapore!*” The MCR confirms Uncle Goh's EVS notification is already in the post. The new system ensures everyone contributes equally to the building’s overall serenity, whether they can afford it or not.