Simei, Singapore – Mr. Tan Ah Kow (21), a local resident, found himself facing legal action this week after his black sedan was allegedly involved in a clandestine joyride with an unlicensed human at the wheel. Following a collision in Simei, the mysterious driver vanished, prompting police to swiftly apprehend Mr. Tan for the egregious offence of ‘insufficiently policing his own vehicle’ and allowing it to fraternise with unauthorised individuals.

Dr. Kelvin Soh, a leading expert in Singaporean Vehicle Jurisprudence, commented, "This case highlights a worrying laxity among vehicle custodians. We may need to re-evaluate the entire concept of ownership, perhaps requiring mandatory 'driver monitoring' systems or even a dedicated car babysitter service. The car, after all, cannot defend itself in court."

Meanwhile, a bewildered Singaporean resident, Mdm. Lim, exclaimed, "Wah lau eh, so scary! Driver liao, owner kena! Next time my bicycle kena stolen then used to knock down lamp post, I also kena jia lat? Better chain my whole family to my car, just in case! So siong, cannot make it!" Authorities are now reportedly exploring policies to introduce 'car curfews' for vehicles prone to late-night excursions without proper supervision.