The Ministry of Manpower has finally addressed the national productivity slump by introducing a "Deep Throat Proficiency" certification.

Officials claim that since Singaporeans are already experts at sucking the joy out of life, transitioning to genitals is a natural career pivot.

Local husbands are reportedly queuing up outside community centres, hoping to redeem their $500 SkillsFuture credits for "Advanced Vacuum Techniques."

"Liao lor, my wife always say she tired, but if got government rebate, she confirm plus chop will do one," said a 34-year-old local resident.

A spokesperson clarified that while swallowing is not mandatory for a Tier 1 Merit Award, it is highly encouraged to prevent wasting national resources.

"Last time she act like she eating dry mee pok, now must use technique or the gahmen will deduct her CPF," he added while polishing his commemorative kneepads.

The program aims to ensure that every Sinkie experiences at least one form of rising inflation that doesn't involve the price of chicken rice.