Local software engineer, Tan Ah Kow, has officially declared himself "off the market" after a KTV hostess touched his knee for three seconds during a rendition of a Jay Chou classic.

Tan, whose previous romantic experience involved accidentally brushing shoulders with a commuter on the North-East Line, spent his entire monthly salary on "flower garlands" to secure a high-five from his new soulmate.

The establishment, famous for its sticky floors and questionable sanitation, has become the premier dating destination for men who find direct eye contact more terrifying than a surprise tax audit.

"Wah lau, she really love me one, okay?" said Tan while inhaling second-hand smoke and overpriced cognac.

"She say my singing got soul, even though I sound like dying cat, and she never once ask me for my CPF statement!"

Management confirmed that Tan's "girlfriend" currently has seventeen other soulmates waiting in the VIP suite.

Experts suggest that the deafening bass and neon lights help Sinkie men forget their crushing loneliness and lack of personality.