A local man has officially filed a claim at the Small Claims Tribunal following a "severely underwhelming" birthday celebration with his long-term partner.

Lim Kopi, 32, alleges that the $800 spent on a rooftop dinner at Marina Bay Sands failed to generate the contractual level of intimacy expected for a milestone age.

"I give her Wagyu, she give me five minutes of starfish only," Lim complained while clutching a detailed spreadsheet of his annual dating expenses.

"Wah lau, I invest so much capital, at least give some effort lah, don't just lay there like frozen prata."

The Ministry of Social and Family Development is reportedly considering a Standardised Birthday Intimacy Framework to prevent future litigation between horny Sinkies.

Lim’s girlfriend responded by stating that the dinner lacked sufficient "Instagrammability" to warrant anything more than a dry handjob.

"His gift is from Shopee sales one, then want me to act like porn star? Don't dream, please."