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Singapore Slurp: SG Couple Splits Cost Of Single Condom Into Monthly Instalments
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SG Couple Splits Cost Of Single Condom Into Monthly Instalments

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Marcus Tan
Monday 20th April 2026 @ 06:00 SST
ðŸĪŠ880

A local couple has revolutionised financial planning by applying for a high-interest bank loan to fund their first anniversary dinner at a coffee shop.

To ensure maximum fiscal efficiency, 28-year-old Melvin Tan has started charging his partner a "lubrication surcharge" whenever she initiates physical contact.

The couple maintains a joint spreadsheet to track the exact volume of sweat produced during a quickie to ensure neither party is "over-contributing" to the air-conditioning bill.

"Eh, last time I pay for her tissue paper already, now she want to use my electricity? No way man, I count by the minute one," Melvin explained while auditing his wallet.

His girlfriend, Sherry, agreed that extreme frugality is the ultimate aphrodisiac in a city where love is measured in cents per kilogram.

"Liddat then fair lor, if he touch my chest five minutes, I charge him hourly rate plus GST and ERP," she remarked while refreshing her bank balance.

The pair recently made headlines for successfully pro-rating the cost of a single condom over a twelve-month repayment plan.

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