Marcus and Jolene celebrated their one-month anniversary by hiring a private auditor to verify their sexual chemistry.

The romantic evening at Marina Bay Sands involved a PowerPoint presentation detailing every orgasm achieved and every Wagyu steak paid for.

Marcus presented a 50-page dossier justifying his consistent lack of foreplay during the third week of relationship probation.

"Wah lau, her KPI damn high one, I must prove I provide premium service or she sack me," Marcus told reporters while weeping.

Jolene confirmed that if the year-end dividend of luxury handbags is not met, the relationship will be liquidated immediately.

"I not here for fun one, okay? If no ROI, why I waste my prime years on this small-fry?" she shouted.

The couple then livestreamed their celebratory intercourse to ensure their followers could verify the union's legal consummation.