The Singapore Island Country Club has officially integrated a ‘Natural Culling Program’ featuring four-meter reticulated pythons to address the chronic issue of slow-playing retirees.

Management claims the presence of highly venomous cobras in the bunkers adds a much-needed ‘high-stakes element’ to the otherwise lethargic sport.

Wealthy club members are reportedly thrilled by the upgrade, noting that the threat of a fatal bite is the only thing that gets their hearts beating faster than a stock market crash.

"Wah lau, last time Uncle Lim take ten years to putt, now he run like siao after the snake hiss," remarked club member Tan Ah Hock while polishing his Patek Philippe.

"The python swallow his golf bag also I don't care, as long as he don't block me from the 19th hole."

National parks officials have blessed the move, stating that if a King Cobra digests a billionaire, it’s simply ‘efficient carbon offsetting.’