The SBS Transit board has finally responded to pesky investors by clarifying that knowing how a bus actually functions is beneath their pay grade.

After losing the Tampines and Jurong West packages, the board explained that "strategic oversight" is far more important than understanding why the Downtown Line keeps dying like a fly in a vape cloud.

"Why should I know about electric motors when I have a degree in sitting on expensive leather chairs?" a director definitely didn't think while checking his quarterly bonus.

They insisted that while their market share is shrinking like a man’s junk in an ice bath, their "financial sustainability" remains intact.

This is easy to achieve when the LTA lets them off the hook for delays caused by "external factors," which is transport-speak for "we don't fucking know what happened either."

The board remains confident in winning the Serangoon-Eunos tender by simply hoping the competition’s bus drivers all get lost at the same time.

When asked about AI and autonomous driving, the board reportedly nodded while secretly wondering if ChatGPT could drive a bus without asking for a pay raise.

"We are world-class," a spokesperson claimed, while thousands of commuters were currently squeezed like sardines against a glass door in 32-degree heat.

Limpeh really cannot with these kanina people.