After five days of marinating in his own ball-sweat, Recruit Lim finally achieved the legendary "Civilian Freedom" by donning a basic Uniqlo T-shirt.

Witnesses report that the mere sensation of non-industrial cotton touching his nipples caused Lim to weep uncontrollably in the Tekong ferry terminal toilet.

"Wah lau, the Uniqlo AIRism feels like angel touch my nips, sibeh song!" Lim remarked while frantically sniffing his own laundry-detergent-scented sleeve.

Despite looking like a malnourished 12-year-old in his oversized bermudas, Lim strutted through Pasir Ris MRT station as if he were a billionaire playboy returning from a galactic conquest.

His Company Sergeant Major, however, was significantly less impressed by the display of individuality.

"Look at this CB, think he damn 'stylo' but his hair still look like kena grass cutter, he think he go clubbing is it?" the Encik spat, while adjusting a belt that hadn't seen a real waistline since 1994.

Lim’s newfound liberty is expected to last exactly forty-eight hours before he is dragged back to the hellscape of Pulau Tekong to resume his role as a glorified janitor with a SAR-21.

For now, the smell of "civilian air" and the absence of a garrotting chin-strap are the only things keeping his soul from completely decomposing.