The Singapore Armed Forces has reaffirmed its commitment to the "Midnight Prowler" shift, claiming that patrolling a rusted perimeter fence at 3 AM is the only thing standing between national sovereignty and total fucking anarchy.

Military experts suggest the primary objective of these shifts is to induce a level of sleep deprivation so profound that recruits begin negotiating with imaginary entities in the jungle.

"Walao, I was prowling then I see one woman with long hair sitting on the gate, I just tell her 'Sister, help me sign the logbook can or not?'" reported Recruit Koh, who is currently being treated for extreme trauma.

Encik Lim, a Warrant Officer who enjoys hiding in bushes to terrify teenagers for sport, defended the practice.

"You think prowling is for security ah? My grandmother can walk faster than you blur fucks," he barked.

"It’s to see if you got balls, or if you just go toilet and kope some more sleep."