Prime Minister Lawrence Wong has officially confirmed that Singapore’s master plan for energy security involves acting like that one toxic friend who “forgot his wallet” every time the bill comes at a KTV session.

Speaking at a virtual summit with regional leaders, Wong clarified that since the Strait of Hormuz is currently tighter than a secondary school girl’s skirt, Singapore is basically a very high-tech, air-conditioned paperweight without outside help.

“We are a world-class Smart Nation, but unfortunately, we are also a nation with the natural resources of a fucking HDB bomb shelter,” Wong said while eyeing Malaysia’s power grid with the intensity of a hungry uncle at a free buffet.

The Prime Minister emphasized that “regional resilience” is just a fancy civil service term for asking Australia and Japan if we can siphon some of their juice before our data centers start smelling like burnt toast.

Wong noted that being a "global hub" is absolutely meaningless when you can't even charge a vibrator without praying that Indonesia doesn't decide to pull the plug just to see us suffer.

The government’s new strategy involves fast-tracking the ASEAN Power Grid, which experts have described as a 4,000-kilometer extension cord designed to steal electricity from neighbors we usually look down on in HardwareZone forums.

“No country can secure its needs on its own,” Wong added, which translates from PAP-speak to “we are absolutely jialat if our neighbors don’t stop being petty for five minutes.”

The PM also welcomed a US$10 billion assistance package from Japan, proving that Singapore’s most reliable renewable energy source remains “other people’s money.”

Despite the looming blackout, Wong insisted Singapore remains committed to "Net-Zero," a goal that will be achieved by pretending the smoke from our neighbors' coal plants is actually "high-SES aesthetic regional mist."

At press time, the Ministry of Trade and Industry was reportedly seen panic-buying 6 million rechargeable AA batteries from a confused uncle at Sim Lim Square.