Sixty-eight-year-old Chua Eng Kiam has successfully proven that being a supportive father-in-law is the quickest way to trade a steering wheel for a prison cell.

The private-hire driver, whose usual financial portfolio consists of loose coins and expired petrol vouchers, somehow convinced himself he could back a $1.5 million bail bond.

Ng Yu Zhi, a man accused of scamming a billion dollars in nickel, reportedly treated his father-in-law like a convenient NPC in a high-stakes fraud quest.

Chua happily signed sham loan agreements provided by Ng, likely assuming that the legal system operates like a “buy now, pay later” scheme for people with zero credit.

“I just wanted to help my daughter’s family,” Chua might have thought, while his daughter was already busy printing divorce papers to escape the nickel-plated wreckage.

The court was unimpressed by Chua’s creative accounting, noting that having zero dollars in assets usually makes one a dog-shit candidate for a million-dollar guarantee.

The prosecution pointed out that Chua knew he was a broke-ass decoy, yet he misled the district court with the sheer audacity of a man who never washes his rice.

Chua now has two months in jail to contemplate why he didn’t just stick to complaining about passengers who vomit in the backseat.