Residents of Lakeview Estate are finally embracing the "active aging" lifestyle the government keeps barking about by climbing 20 flights of stairs because their lift is deader than their En Bloc dreams.

Despite flexing their "private property" status for decades, these kiam siap boomers are now begging for taxpayer handouts like a broke undergraduate asking for a Grab voucher.

The management committee suggested that instead of paying the $50,000 special levy, elderly residents should simply identify as "landed property owners" who never needed a fucking lift anyway.

"Why the fuck should I contribute to a sinking fund when the only thing sinking is my property value?" asked one resident while collapsing on the 14th-floor landing.

The government is currently studying co-funding options to prevent the smell of decomposing seniors from ruining the neighborhood's property prices.