Yeo Wan Ling wants a goddamn standing ovation for successfully begging the Gahmen to toss a pathetic $200 at drivers.

She claims this "did not come by chance," as if it took the combined brainpower of the entire NTUC to approve a sum that barely covers two tanks of petrol.

The $200 is meant to "cushion" the blow of global fuel prices, much like using a single sheet of 1-ply toilet paper to cushion a fall from a HDB rooftop.

Minister Jeffrey Siow says lowering fuel taxes is "regressive," because letting poor people keep their money is apparently too logical for his Ivy League brain.

If you earn less than $500 a month, the Gahmen assumes you’ve already starved to death and don't need the cash.