The National Parks Board has upgraded its maritime security to include tactical air strikes against retirees carrying unlicensed worms.

Authorities maintain that a grandfather with a bamboo pole poses a greater national security threat than a foreign invasion.

"Wah lau, I just stand there only, then the drone come and ask me why my bait so juicy," complained local rebel, Ah Huat.

"I tell them it’s just bread, but they say I trying to bribe the fish to start a revolution against the gahmen!"

Offenders caught poaching guppies will face public flogging with their own rods to ensure the "City in Nature" remains void of joy.

NParks confirmed that reservoir carp have been trained to record suspicious human activity using state-of-the-art eyeball cameras.

"If the fish don't want to be caught, we must protect their right to be poisonous."