National Parks Board (NParks) has officially designated the "Red-Clad Lager-Breasted Patriot" as Singapore’s most aggressive invasive species following the National Day weekend.

These migratory bipeds, easily identified by their crimson polo shirts and crimson faces, have successfully decimated local swan populations through the sheer auditory violence of their off-key singalongs.

Wildlife biologists observed the creatures marking their territory at Marina Barrage with a sophisticated trail of lukewarm cans and half-digested mutton.

"Wah lau, the smell worse than the zoo leh," complained local nature photographer Tan Boon Kiat.

"One uncle knock over my camera then ask me if I got Singapore heartbeat or not, win liao lor!"

Authorities warn that the species is most dangerous during the fireworks, when the combination of pyrotechnics and cheap gin triggers a primal urge to urinate on heritage trees.