Singapore’s National Parks Board has officially classified dawn-dwelling Tai Chi practitioners as the island’s most dangerous invasive species.

Park rangers warn that these slow-motion predators use invisible energy waves to paralyse unsuspecting joggers before claiming territory with aggressive hand-waving.

Unlike the docile monitor lizard, a Tai Chi uncle in a sweat-stained singlet will not retreat if provoked by your presence.

"Liddat one uncle move so slow I thought he statue, then he 'om' one time I straight away fall down," reported one traumatised victim.

Experts advise that the only way to survive an encounter with a "Pushing Hands" formation is to play dead or pretend you are selling overpriced health supplements.

"You think I dancing is it? My chi can break your bone even before I touch you, better go far far ah!" warned one territorial specimen.

Authorities are currently debating if these geriatric threats should be humanely darted or simply lured away with free packets of medicated oil.