Foreign Minister Vivian Balakrishnan has returned from Pyongyang with the earth-shattering discovery that the world’s most famously reclusive nation actually hates talking to people.

After flying halfway across the globe on the taxpayer’s dime, Vivian reported that North Korea isn't interested in "external engagement," much like a weary Singaporean avoiding an insurance agent at a crowded bus interchange.

"It turns out they don't want to be our LinkedIn connections," Vivian said, looking genuinely stunned that his PowerPoint presentation on "Regional Synergy" failed to stop the nuclear tests.

The Minister spent three days in the Hermit Kingdom just to realize that the "Hermit" part of the name wasn't just a quirky branding choice or a clever marketing gimmick.

Having successfully confirmed that water is wet, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is now preparing a follow-up expedition to the Sahara Desert to investigate if it is indeed quite sandy.