The Ministry of Education has announced a streamlined admissions system to ensure that every Singaporean teenager can experience the crushing weight of academic rejection with unparalleled digital efficiency.

Starting in 2028, the new portal will replace the cumbersome process of failing on multiple websites with a single, high-speed dashboard for existential dread.

Students can now rank twelve different institutions, allowing them to precisely curate the exact moment their dreams of law school pivot into a certificate in Urban Farming.

"Wah, so convenient sia! Last time must wait many weeks to know I CMI, now one website can settle my whole life failure," remarked one local student.

Officials claim the unified system will reduce "uncertainty," specifically the uncertainty of whether your parents will start looking for a replacement child before the results release.