Changi Airport Group (CAG) announced a $3 billion upgrade for Terminal 3 to ensure that the "World's Best Airport" finally achieves its dream of being completely devoid of human warmth.

The centerpiece of the renovation is a fleet of autonomous robotic janitors designed to clean toilets while maintaining a cold, unblinking gaze as you relieve yourself.

Officials stated that the new AI-powered bathroom attendants are programmed to ignore the smell of your failing health, providing a level of privacy that human cleaners simply couldn't offer while holding a mop.

To further enhance the travel experience, CAG is doubling the number of bus gates, allowing more passengers to feel the rush of adrenaline that comes with being packed into a humid shuttle like refrigerated meat.

The airport will also test a "Fear and Poverty" sensor at security checkpoints, streamlining the process by automatically tasing anyone whose bank balance looks suspicious.

For elite travelers at Marina Bay Sands, a new off-site check-in service allows them to abandon their luggage and their social obligations hours before their flight.

By the time Terminal 5 opens, the government hopes to have replaced the entire ground crew with machines that don't ask for bathroom breaks or basic labor rights.