The new Audi Q3 arrives, offering Singaporeans the chance to look wealthy while eating grass for a decade.

The "styling prowess" of the crossover is designed to distract neighbours from the owner’s unpaid utility bills.

The "cylinder-on-demand" technology shuts down half the pistons, mirroring the owner’s brain function after signing the financing agreement.

One local enthusiast, a broke insurance agent, praised the fuel savings.

"Wah lau, two cylinders only? Shag bro, but the logo got four rings leh, so still can bluff the girls," he said.

Experts confirm the car's presence easily compensates for a total lack of a retirement plan.