The National Environment Agency has officially ceased fogging operations, declaring all dengue clusters as "High-Density Insect Conservation Zones."

Recognising the Aedes mosquito’s unwavering commitment to multiplying, the government will now grant the insects Permanent Residency to offset the human birth rate.

NEA officers have swapped their insecticide sprayers for premium mineral water to ensure local breeding grounds meet "lifestyle" standards.

"Wah lao, the mosquito here more fierce than my mother-in-law, bite until my leg like honeycomb," said Tampines resident, Ah Huat.

"I ask NEA for help, they tell me I must provide five-star service to the 'mini-vampires' or get charged for animal cruelty."

Residents are encouraged to stop wearing repellent, as the government seeks to foster a "seamless blood-sharing economy" between species.

Failing to provide a succulent calf for the swarm is now punishable by a mandatory three-week internship as a human pincushion.