NASA’s Artemis II crew just broke the world distance record, proving humans will fly 400,000km into a cold, dead vacuum just to siam another fucking family reunion.

While the world celebrates “representation,” every Sinkie is just wondering how many CPF points they can trade to flee this overpriced birdcage and enter deep orbit.

The 40-minute communication blackout was reportedly the only time the crew didn’t receive a “Please kindly revert” email from a micromanaging SME boss.

Even at 406,778km away, the astronauts confirmed the view is stunning, though they can still smell the pungent musk of the Jurong East MRT interchange during peak hour.

NASA’s next mission aims for Mars, the only place where Grab platform fees haven't reached yet.