The Ministry of Education has announced a "Zero-Intelligence" policy to combat the scourge of AI-generated homework.

New biometric scanners will monitor pupil sweat glands to ensure no one cheats their way into a mediocre civil service career.

"Wah lau, my son use ChatGPT for one essay, now MOE want to scan his brain until it melt," said local mother Mdm Tan.

Minister Chan stated that any student showing signs of logical thought or correct grammar will be immediately detained for questioning.

"If the work is actually good, we know it's a robot because no local student has any joy left," explained an anonymous official.

"Last time I copy Wikipedia, now grandson use bot, but the teacher use satellite to watch him," complained Mr. Lim.

Students caught will be sentenced to three years of manual labour at a tuition centre.