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Singapore Slurp: MOE Recycles Burnt-Out GEP Prodigies Into High-Efficiency Bio-Fuel
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MOE Recycles Burnt-Out GEP Prodigies Into High-Efficiency Bio-Fuel

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David Cheong
Sunday 7th June 2026 @ 06:00 SST
🤪1,162

The Ministry of Education has unveiled a revolutionary initiative to process 11-year-olds who have reached their cognitive expiry date.

These former "Gifted Education Programme" geniuses, once capable of solving multivariable calculus during naptime, are now being harvested for their high-grade carbon remains.

Official reports suggest that the smell of burning neurons is simply the sweet fragrance of Singapore’s future economic stability.

"Last time my boy can recite Pi to 500 digits, now he only know how to stare at wall and drool," lamented local mother, Mdm Tan.

She noted that her son’s sudden catatonic state was a minor inconvenience compared to his failing Additional Mathematics grades.

"I tell him don't play play, if you no more brain power, I sell you to Karung Guni man for two dollars," she added while highlighting a Ten-Year Series.

MOE assures citizens that while their children’s internal lights have permanently flickered out, their PSLE scores remain state property.

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