The Ministry of Education confirmed the slogan “Every School is a Good School” was an elaborate prank to test national gullibility.

Ministerial sources revealed some schools produce billionaires, while others produce human wallpaper for the civil service.

"Wah lau, I knew it since my son go school without swimming pool," said local mother Mavis Tan.

"If every school same, why elite uniform got more gold thread than my wedding dress?"

The Ministry will now replace the branding with: “Your Postal Code Is Your Destiny.”

Neighbourhood school students are advised to stop dreaming of the Cabinet and start practicing ‘Welcome to Sheng Siong’ greetings.

Meritocracy remains a core value, provided your parents can afford a five-million-dollar house near a brand-name institution.

"Abit late right? I already sell my soul to stay near Nanyang," complained Tan Ah Teck.