The Singapore Armed Forces Medical Corps has achieved a global breakthrough by officially declaring that death is merely an advanced form of "chao keng."

Dr. Tan, a Captain whose stethoscope is primarily used to check if recruits are breathing too loudly, claims 100% of Medical Certificates are elaborate works of fiction.

"This fella come in with severed arm, I tell him don't act blur, take two Panadol and go back for route march," Dr. Tan remarked while sharpening his red pen.

"Lately these strawberry generation recruits think they can use 'internal bleeding' to skip SOC, but I see through their pattern liao, confirm want to go home and play computer games."

MINDEF confirmed that any soldier attempting to die on duty without a valid 11B will be charged with damaging government property.

"Walao, my MO damn power sia, he say my cardiac arrest is just gas because I scared of tekan session," said Corporal Liew, who is currently hallucinating from sheer agony.

Under the new policy, recruits are encouraged to perform their own appendectomies using a field bayonet to prove they aren't "keng-ing" like a little bitch.

The SAF reminds all personnel that pain is temporary, but a "down-PES" record is a permanent stain on your pathetic manhood.