Temasek-linked conglomerate GlobalMegaCorp has officially replaced its entire Board of Directors with a local retiree who completed a four-hour SkillsFuture course in "Digital Disruption."

HR Director Tan Ah Huat confirmed that the certificate, printed on flimsy paper, is now considered more prestigious than an Ivy League MBA.

"Wah lau, you see her cert or not? Got gold foil sticker leh, confirm plus chop she is genius level already," Tan remarked while shredding several Oxford degrees to use as kitty litter.

The company’s stock price immediately plummeted 99%, but the Board remains optimistic because the retiree now knows how to add "vibrant" filters to Excel spreadsheets.

"I take one afternoon only, now I can tell the CEO he is doing everything wrong because the slides say 'Agile' is king," said the newly appointed Chairperson, Mdm Lim.

Industry experts suggest Singapore’s economy now rests entirely on citizens learning to bake sourdough via government-subsidized Zoom calls.