The Singapore government has officially designated outdoor Zumba classes as a biological weapon of mass distraction.

Thousands of aunties in neon spandex now congregate daily to perform aggressive pelvic thrusts to high-decibel Mandopop remixes.

Security experts claim the sheer force of three hundred retirees doing the ‘Chicken Dance’ can destabilise the regional tectonic plates.

"Aiyah, you don't know meh? My hip replacement very solid one, can kick down one door if the discount at Giant ending soon," remarked Mdm Tan, 68, while aggressively wiping sweat with a Good Morning towel.

Foreign invaders are reportedly more terrified of a synchronized fan dance than the entire Republic of Singapore Air Force.

"Liddat only you scared? Wait until we start the K-pop segment, then your father also will pengsan," added her teammate, Auntie Doris.

The Ministry of Home Affairs is currently considering using these rhythmic gyrations to power the national grid.