The Singapore Armed Forces has officially declared itself the world’s most lethal fighting force after a 48-hour Force Preparation exercise involving 600 recruits and a protractor.

The exercise focused on the high-stakes tactical requirement of ensuring that every spare pair of underwear is folded into a perfectly square 15cm-by-15cm block.

"Eh, you blur sotong, why your toothbrush bristles facing the wrong way?" screamed Third Sergeant Ho, while drop-kicking a recruit’s field pack into a nearby monsoon drain.

"One watermark on your mess tin is a national security breach, you f***ing waste of oxygen!"

The SAF's doctrine suggests that no foreign aggressor can survive the sheer psychological horror of a battalion that possesses perfectly waterproofed spare laces.

Recruit Wei Sheng spent six hours using a spirit level to ensure his groundsheet was flat enough to serve as a runway for a miniature drone.

"I pack, unpack, and pack again until my fingers bleed, but my PC still say my towel not dry enough," Wei Sheng whispered while shivering in the 34-degree heat.

"Wait until he find out I hide my illegal cigarettes inside the spare boot, then I really jialat."

Military experts confirm that while other nations practice "shooting" and "tactics," Singapore remains the global leader in the strategic application of Ziploc bags.