The Singapore Armed Forces has introduced a revolutionary safety directive requiring soldiers to complete 400 pages of administrative paperwork before they are permitted to die on duty.

During a recent tactical exercise, a recruit whose torso was partially liquefied by a misfired mortar was forced to thumbprint a Safety Breach Indemnity Form while his guts decorated the jungle floor.

"Oi, don't just lie there and stone, your blood staining the Annex B liao!" screamed Captain Lim, while shoving a clipboard into the recruit’s remaining hand.

"Sign properly or I make you sign extra for wasting the stationery, you chao recruit!"

Military experts claim that the sheer volume of bureaucratic red tape acts as a natural deterrent to fatalities, as most soldiers would rather survive than fill out the 14-page 'Post-Mortem Administrative Compliance' booklet.

The Ministry confirmed that any soldier failing to report their own accidental decapitation within three working minutes will face immediate summary trial.

"Liddat also cannot do, next time how to fight war?" shouted a nearby Encik while smoking under a 'No Smoking' sign.

"If you want to die, you better make sure the Risk Assessment is laminated first, understand?"