Defence Minister Chan Chun Sing has clarified that splashing billions on fighter jets is a massive waste of cash if the person in the cockpit possesses the combat awareness of a wet floor sign.

Chan argued that "bang for the buck" is superior to raw expenditure, suggesting Singapore’s military edge lies in making one underpaid NSF perform the labor of a battalion using only a stapler and sheer spite.

"It takes years to train a pilot," Chan noted, ignoring that most Singaporeans spent their formative years training to queue for plastic toys rather than navigating without Google Maps.

The Minister emphasized "innovation," which insiders confirm is code for replacing expensive missiles with aggressive "Tsk" sounds and high-pitched complaining.

To avoid scaring neighbours, Chan recommended that every time we buy tanks, we should send a basket of discount fruit to Indonesia to show our "peaceful intentions."