The Michelin Guide has reached peak absurdity by awarding a star to a stall where the secret ingredient is pure, unadulterated hatred.

Inspectors reportedly praised the subtle notes of carbon monoxide and the authentic aroma of a nearby overflowing floor trap.

"Wah lau, now must wait four hours because some ang moh in a suit say it's 'refined'?" complained regular patron, Tan Ah Lian.

The stall owner, who hasn't washed his singlet since the SARS outbreak, responded by tripling prices and charging $2 for a single toothpick.

"They like the taste of my scolding or what? I tell them 'diam diam' and they give me a plaque," the hawker remarked while wiping his brow with a greasy rag.

Foodies are flocking to this humid hellscape, desperate to pay premium prices to eat off a tray that violates international chemical weapon treaties.

"So shiok one, the uncle scold me 'pua chui' then the noodles taste more smoky," added a local influencer.