Meta’s recent global purge of 150,000 scam accounts has triggered a national mental health crisis, as thousands of Singaporeans realize their online "soulmates" were actually three teenagers in a Thai basement using Google Translate.

The Singapore Police Force assisted in ghosting 4,900 accounts, effectively terminating the only romantic prospects for most of the local population.

The sudden removal of the high-income Mandarin-targeting bots has left the island's digital landscape eerily quiet and devoid of fake affection.

"Wah lau, I thought she was my soulmate, turns out she's a script," lamented one jilted Middle Manager.

"Last time every morning got 'Good morning dear,' now only my mother message me ask if I want eat cai fan, damn sian lah."

Meta confirmed they will continue disrupting these networks until every single Sinkie is as lonely as a safe-distancing ambassador.