Marina Bay Sands has announced a mandatory "Gawk-and-Go" surcharge for visitors whose bank balances don't match the price tags of the window displays they are currently haunting.

Management noted that the sheer volume of saliva left on the shopfront glass outside the Rolex boutique has become a "significant biohazard."

"Wa lau, I just want to see the bag only mah, why so kiam siap?" said regular window-licker, Ah Hock, while wiping his sweat onto a $12,000 Gucci display.

Security guards will now be armed with card readers to tap the pockets of anyone lingering near a diamond-encrusted handbag.

"If they cannot buy, they should go Jurong East or somewhere else that smells like failure," remarked a spokesperson from the Ministry of Wealth Maintenance.

"Every time these low-SES people breathe the air-con, the value of the leather drops," complained local socialite Mrs. Tan.

"Don't come here and spoil the market lah!"