Mandai Wildlife Reserve has announced that its resident orangutan, Ah Meng Jr., is refusing to touch his frozen fruit birthday cake.

The zoo management, desperate for viral TikTok content, reportedly spent $40,000 on a custom-made bamboo-flavored vape pen for the primate.

"Eh, every year same ice cake with carrot sticks, you think I low SES ah?" the primate gestured rudely at a crowd of sweaty tourists.

"Last time my mother get fruit basket, now I want crypto or at least some cold hard cash for my CPF," he added.

"Wah, this monkey more high-demand than my wife sia," remarked onlooker Tan Ah Kow.

The celebration reached a peak when the animal threw his commemorative party hat at a crying toddler who didn't clap loud enough.

Zoo officials confirmed that next year, the penguins will demand a yacht party to celebrate surviving the humid Singaporean hellscape.