
Mandai Deports Panda Cub For Failing To Meet GDP Targets
Mandai Wildlife Reserve has officially deported Le Le the panda cub after he failed to meet Singapore’s rigorous Foreign Talent productivity quotas.
The black-and-white freeloader reportedly spent twenty hours a day napping, a direct violation of the Ministry of Manpower’s mandatory “Grind Culture” initiatives.
Despite receiving a premium climate-controlled suite, Le Le failed to produce a single patent or contribute meaningfully to the national GDP.
“This panda really cannot make it, spend so much money but zero ROI,” complained local observer Tan Ah Kow.
“Sibei lazy one, everyday just eat bamboo then nua there like he big boss, better he go back China and learn some work ethic!”
Government officials confirmed the enclosure will be repurposed into a high-density dormitory for high-performing, sleep-deprived interns.
The bear was last seen being shoved into a crate, still clutching a piece of bamboo like a common vagrant.
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