Mediacorp has weaponized Chinese heartthrob Luo Yunxi and Hsieh Ying-xuan to distract the public from the absolute dumpster fire of local television.

The superstars will be paid to stand on stage and pretend they know who the fuck Richard Low is while aunties at home reach for their Osim massagers.

"We hope their presence stops people from noticing our 'Best Actor' nominees haven't changed since the Stone Age," a producer whispered while hiding a bankruptcy notice.

The foreign stars will nod politely as veteran actors struggle to read teleprompters without their dentures falling out.

It’s a face-saving move for a broadcaster whose only remaining viewers are bored ghosts and people trapped in polyclinic waiting rooms.