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Singapore Slurp: LTA To Legally Declare Commuters Sleeping Past Tuas Link Dead
Transport Siao

LTA To Legally Declare Commuters Sleeping Past Tuas Link Dead

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Eugene Tay
Monday 13th April 2026 @ 06:00 SST
ðŸĪŠ771

The Land Transport Authority has announced a new policy where any commuter found unconscious past their designated stop will be immediately stripped of their citizenship.

Under the "Wake Up or Get Out" initiative, SMRT staff are now authorised to auction off heavy sleepers to neighbouring countries to recoup lost electricity costs.

Officials stated that the MRT is a world-class transit system, not a mobile homeless shelter for pathetic, overworked salarymen.

"Siao liao, I nap only then wake up at Joo Koon, now the uncle say I am property of Batam!" cried one distressed passenger.

The government reminded citizens that if they wanted to sleep comfortably, they should have worked harder to afford a car.

Sleepers who reach the final station will now be processed as unclaimed baggage and incinerated.

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